Rachel Lewis

winter

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 16:51:07 GMT

its very cold outside
this time of year makes me a lil crazy

i have three layers to put on anytime i want to go outside
heating up my car takes like ten minutes
i smoke more cigarettes
STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME DRINK EGG NOG
family drama
lonely jew on xmas :[

oh, i cant be a total drag... its not 100% bad.

the coffee tastes warmer
zak is the warmest thing in the house
i got a warm jacket for hanukkah
i got a kick ass camera for xmas
xmas buds ;]
snow on mt lemon (which still kind of blows cuz its even more freezing there)

new years resolution:
dhsgflkjsdhgkjfdsghkldfjhgaoweutowegvkjgbfvjsgv

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 16:39:56 GMT

how do you confront a liar after commiting your own deciet?

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 20:16:49 GMT

i want to riot.

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 15:22:22 GMT

who knows trouble
i know trouble
trouble is the tide that rose too far

who knows pain
i know pain
pain is the pages of the books you folded over

who knows love
i know love
love is the plauge that spreads like smallpox

who knows debt
i know debt
debt is the regret at the very bottom of your stomach

who knows guilt
i know guilt
guilt is the sharp edge of a knife

who knows joy
i know joy
joy is the light that spreads across your closed eyes

who knows silence
i know silence
silence is water running down your body

this is not for you.

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 16:27:08 GMT

time changes, and it beats with the pulse of hearts.
it rains with clouds of shame and guilt.

it fills you with relief.
for the ones who you love.
for the ones who helped you.
for the days you did something.
for the books you read.
for the laughing.
for the singing.
for the drugs.
for inspiration.

it fills you with regret.
for the ones who only wanted you for one night.
for the ones who you blamed for your mistakes.
for the days you did nothing.
for the drugs that stole your memories.
for the hearts that broke and the ones who broke them.
for not expressing your emotions.
for the pain.
for the guilt.
for lying, for cheating.
for hurting.
for justin, for tony.
for the lack of motivation.

in the seconds passing, the seconds are coming.
torn between different situations.
things make me happy.
things make me sad.
but right now, everything is okay.

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 20:46:55 GMT

sudden euphoria (1:44:14 PM): we might just write a song about you
kunt face shimmy (1:44:15 PM): yay haha
kunt face shimmy (1:44:17 PM): really
kunt face shimmy (1:44:21 PM): what would it sound like
sudden euphoria (1:44:31 PM): it would sound like beauty
kunt face shimmy (1:45:01 PM): is it gunna be likeee "i knowww thiss slutttt named rachhheellll"
sudden euphoria (1:45:22 PM): no no no
sudden euphoria (1:45:36 PM): its gonna sound like you are floating in a bed of roses in the middle of a lake surrounded by glaciers
sudden euphoria (1:45:53 PM): and the temperature will feel like its 85
sudden euphoria (1:45:58 PM): and you will just be knocked off your feet

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 12:18:23 GMT

it's 5:15am and i cant sleep. my mind is filled with so much. tomorrow i have school and honestly im a bit nervous. the summer has been my friend, no matter the crazy situations its put me in. but on the other hand, im sick of sitting at home with nothing to do.

ive decided that if im going to do good in school that im going to need to quit my job and find something more suitable to my sleeping needs. this night shift thing has slowly been driving me crazy and i feel as though i need back some normality in my life.

tomorrow i will clean my apartment

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 17:45:41 GMT

you know the part of the weddings vows that say "for richer and for poorer".

I dont want to be with someone who sees that as good times versus bad times but with someone who sees it the same as long as they have each other.

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 03:45:31 GMT

when i was little my mom told me when it was raining that god was crying.
i love the rain because if there is a god, and if that's true, its nice to know that god knows how i feel sometimes.

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:36:40 GMT

the hope that life brings is only now a small glimpse into a torn in half future. behold the beauty of love and devotion, the heartache and pain that comes with it. time is too fast and time is wasted on connections not made. electrical faliures, stolen concepts. ive been used and im tired of it.

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 00:23:21 GMT

put down your cigarette and tell me a story
sing me a song about wisdom and glory
cause times are a changin'
and i aint quite ready
tell me about when things were all steady

your delicate words they fall to the floor
you're looking to weary, i wont ask for more

Sat, 08 Jul 2006 12:50:28 GMT

Truth is so hard to come by. Everything is so skewed & twisted that it's hard to filter through. It's sick how lying is so easy and effortless. How made up stories become a part of who you are and how you are seen through the eyes of the world.

We are all the same physical structure on the inside, but once you open your eyes you have control of yourself unless you've lost it all when you put all of your trust into something that will betray you in the end.

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 03:03:43 GMT

You know what bugs me more than anything?

When someone tells me that they will do something & then don't do it. And it's even okay if there is a good explaination as to why, but when there isn't? There is no excuse, and I hate that.

Sat, 01 Jul 2006 11:22:24 GMT

I don't know if he's telling the truth or if he is doing it for attention. He says he wants to die, everyday. He says he's given up and is too scared to grow up. I don't know what to do. He is so far away and I can't help him anymore than he wants to be helped. All I can do is give him my words. And if those fail, then I fail. And I won't ever forgive myself.

Sun, 25 Jun 2006 07:50:43 GMT

people you love will turn their backs on you.
people you hate will get their hooks into you.

i think i was born high because i think i want it to stay that way.

things seems so much easier.